The Problem of Immigration in Britain

Their problem is not particularly or solely that outside people make their lives worse, it is that these outside people are witnessing how bad the  British behave in comparison to most other societies. If you remove the observer, you remove the problem, at least from the British perspective. Well, that and it’s always nice to have a dog to blame when you fart or wreck your car.

Social Darwinism on Crack Cocaine

Since the chavs are the only voices heard, those are the ones the children chose to style themselves after. I give England two more generations before there is nothing left but the chavs. It is sad and disheartening to watch these empty downtrodden and beaten ghosts as they disappear amongst a sea of brash violence and stupidity.


So, being in England, I had the police over for a cup of tea in order to get some advice.

The advice was as follows. I was allowed to fight back, but only with as much force as was being exerted against me.It was a “don’t bring a gun to knife fight” sort of thing, although I had no idea how I was meant to be prepared ahead of time to exactly match whatever psychotic shit Ms. London was going to bring next. Was I meant to get my own pram and fight her with that since a pram was what she was bringing to the fight? Trying to follow that logic, I felt like Alice in the scene where she plays croquet with a bird instead of a mallet.

Ms. London- a screeching banshee oblivious to the world around her

Oh, Ms. London. How do I even begin to describe thee?
I call her Ms. London because she claims that city as her
origin and is quite convinced that everyone from there goes
about their day to day business in the same way that she
does – screeching and screaming and making death threats over
everything from her utility bill to her child’s potty training.
I can assure you, even with my dismal perspective of England;
London is not quite that bad. At least when it comes to the business and tourist sections one does not hear loud screeching or see men in business attire regularly breaking out their fists or stabbing each other in order to decide where they should go for lunch.

Ethnography of the Chav

Chav women enjoy having their nails and hair done. They must look like they have money and often wear fake gold jewelry in order to pull off this farce. Chav men and women alike enjoy living in social housing complexes (projects), wearing Adidas and Nike branded clothing, having cheap vehicles with overdone modifications and rims; and listening to a loud mix of Hollywood produced canned gangsta rap, Celine Dion, and current pop music. Both males and females wear track clothing without ever actually exercising, and the women have a love of the color hot pink as well as an over- abuse of makeup. I have also heard that they enjoy spending their days hanging out at McDonalds.

Civilization Televised, Violence Scripted

The presence of CCTV tends to keep the ill-behaved ones in line most of the time. After all, the English do know how to behave when being watched. Do not go into the suburbs or residential areas. More than once I have seen drivers in those areas randomly throw glass bottles out the windows at women and children that they thought not to be of the same class. Or maybe they are all in rival gangs and no one has told me – seriously, the place is reminiscent of a bad prison movie and most of the English I have met would be incredibly proud to be in such a film.

Cultural Assimilation via Global Emulation

I wondered what had happened to the people of my ancestry and for a while I think I fell into a commiserating depression. This was not what I had expected from the land of my roots. Where had the culture gone? All I saw was poverty and people emulating what they saw on American television.


“Air out the house, and use the window they don’t smoke crack under, please.” would become a common saying during my time in England. On the plane over I had thought it might be something along the lines of “Cheerio!” or maybe even a cheeky “Bloody wanker.”
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