Tag Archive | britain

The English Language

I went in to England expecting to learn a  dialect of English. Instead, when it came to the areas near small shops and takeaway restaurants, it ended up being more akin to learning the signals given by primates at the zoo. I learned what a high piercing language-less wail meant in comparison to the lower grunting. I began to learn what the different grunts and series of grunt meant – some were sexual, some referred to drugs, and some were just a reaction to new people entering the environment (the latter is higher pitched and more urgent sounding).

Education, Class Status, and England

According to statistics, the vast majority of those living around the poverty line will not attend university. Some populated areas will see as few as one (sometimes not even that) poor child move on to attending university within a given year. This is despite the requirement that they all attend school until they are sixteen to eighteen years old, which one would think would naturally lead to university at least for some.

They simply do not attempt to reach to a higher level and assume that where they are born is where they will remain. This becomes an issue when the majority of them are being born into the ever expanding housing projects that litter much of the English landscape. They cherish and are proud of where they are from, even if it is the ghetto. This is how the proud and loud welfare queen crack addict with a love of canned rap music comes to be, and why she is not in a minority. She revels in being a drug addicted scrounger because that is where she comes from. It is pride.



The Family Unit

I have heard every curse word in the world flung at a two year old with what sounds like a combination of rage and psychotic glee. I have heard constant tormenting, screaming and what I can only assume are small bodies slamming against walls just moments after hearing cheerful goodbyes and a car door close.

Sometimes the other person will forget something, get out of the car and come back to hear the abuse. The abuse will immediately stop in their presence and the exaggerated happy voices saying things like “Oh, innit (isn’t it) wonderful that Johnny can see the keys are there?” will come back out again until about five seconds after the visitor leaves. They will even have gotten Johnny involved in the overly loud and artificially cheerful goodbyes as their guest walked out the door. It is almost comical (if it were not so horrific) and can be counted down precisely to the second if one has been observing it for long enough. There were days when England felt like hell on earth. The family is the core of a society. If they abuse each other like that, then what would they be willing to do to someone that isn’t family? It’s barbaric.


The Prized Welfare State

The natives of England consider welfare payments to be a prized national gem and mistakenly think that everyone else is out to take this treasure from them. They are absolutely convinced that every foreigner, even those from first world countries, have all traveled great distances just to steal their cherished welfare and role around in wondrous poverty and dependence on government along with the British.

The dissimilarity is built in to the language. In America we consider welfare a failure because so many people are on it, and in England they consider it a success because so many people are on it. The British don’t really understand that difference in language – they just understand that their successful welfare and booming teen pregnancy rates are a treasure bestowed upon them for eating and breathing so wonderfully – and that it is indeed a success in their terminology.


Quaint Row Houses

“People peek out from behind curtains as if frightened to be seen. Rubbish floats down the street, and sad or angry looking people plod down the walkways on occasion.  Grass will often go uncut unless the government housing management (called the council) can be bothered to do it. Young welfare mothers can be seen and heard screaming loudly to each other and pushing multiple prams (strollers) down the street. These type of English are not quiet when amongst themselves. They are loud, brash, and exceedingly rude and demanding in many cases. They feel entitled and they just want more, more, more and will try to force it out of anyone that they can.”

Modern Slave Quarters


Whilst out looking for a flat (apartment) to spend some time in out of the rain in the south of jolly ol’ England, I ran across this. Not sure what they were thinking…not entirely entirely sure of what they were trying to sell. But the boat dock nearby started to take on a whole different connotation in my head. I wondered if I would hear the rustling of chains inside if I were to get close to one of the ships.



The Problem of Immigration in Britain

Their problem is not particularly or solely that outside people make their lives worse, it is that these outside people are witnessing how bad the  British behave in comparison to most other societies. If you remove the observer, you remove the problem, at least from the British perspective. Well, that and it’s always nice to have a dog to blame when you fart or wreck your car.

Cultural Assimilation via Global Emulation

I wondered what had happened to the people of my ancestry and for a while I think I fell into a commiserating depression. This was not what I had expected from the land of my roots. Where had the culture gone? All I saw was poverty and people emulating what they saw on American television.


“Air out the house, and use the window they don’t smoke crack under, please.” would become a common saying during my time in England. On the plane over I had thought it might be something along the lines of “Cheerio!” or maybe even a cheeky “Bloody wanker.”
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